I have been wondering why I started this blog in the first place. Why would I do such a thing when I have never considered myself a “blogger” type person nor am I into writing my thoughts for all the world to see. And why would I start something and then ignore it completely? What purpose does that serve?

For a while I didn’t know why exactly I felt the desire to start a blog, something I was pretty sure I would never do, ever. After a sleepless night, I think I have the answer.

When looking back at my life, especially my Christian walk, I have tangible items, books to pull out and see what my thoughts were about life and faith at 15, 18, 20, and I can examine my heart and what God was doing in me. I have a written history of my faith. 

Over the  years, I have discovered that writing is essential to my growth and the tool the Holy Spirit has used most often in revealing my heart and His and where I need to change. One of the most frustrating things about myself is my inability to know what I think or how I feel until I sit down and begin to write. Without thinking, I can write and begin to see what is in my heart and mind. Finally, blessed clarity is usually close behind.

God shows me His heart and speaks through the Spirit there. That is the part I cherish. What also frustrates me about myself is that I can easily stop my writing and sitting quiet before the Lord for a very long time. This affects me greatly. My relationships all suffer and I am so cloudy in my head, I can’t tell you what I’m thinking, feeling, or even speak with much clarity at all.

For me, not writing is sin. For me, this space to pour out what is in my heart for all to see is obedience to God. Nothing is hidden from Him.